Is It Time to Click “Unfollow”?

Last week, we explored what it means to nurture your team into flourishing followers. But what should we as leaders do when our followers simply aren’t flourishing on our team?

One of my team members – who had just had her first baby – shared this with me:

In a lot of ways, new mothers today are really blessed with easy access to so many resources and tips. I can go on social media and follow lactation consultants, child psychologists, and speech therapists who share their expertise.

But at the same time, it can be just as harmful as helpful. I’ve been following a really popular baby sleep expert. I know a lot of parents who benefitted from her advice – but I found myself riddled with anxiety when I listened. I felt like if I didn’t follow her methods exactly, my baby would never sleep. I would actually start crying if a nap was too short. 

One day, I just hit “Unfollow.” And in retrospect? I realized my baby never even had trouble with sleep. That influencer just made me anxious about something that could happen but wasn’t – my baby was doing just fine without it! 

Leaders, there’s a truth that can be both difficult to accept and highly liberating: there are some people who will never flourish by following you.

No matter what we do to help our team members thrive as they follow our lead, some people simply aren’t wired for our teams, our services, or our organizations. They won’t flourish here – despite our best efforts.

That’s a difficult concept to digest, especially for those of us who believe we are making a positive difference in the world. When we see transformation happening in our communities. When we hear testimonies of changed lives. 

Not everyone will learn from us, grow with us, join us, or even like us. We need to get OK with that. In fact, even among those who do learn, grow, and join for a season, many leave before we think it’s time. We think there’s more to learn. More growth and opportunity and… just more. 

Here’s what’s difficult. In the truest sense, people don’t really follow organizations. They follow people. And they don’t actually unfollow organizations. They unfollow people. 

So what if we stopped taking it so personally? What if we could recognize we’re not for everyone? What if we began telling people: this may not be for you. 

Perhaps that’s the most caring thing we can offer them.

Here’s another truth: it may be best for someone to stop following you, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth following.

In fact, it has nothing to do with your worth and success as a leader. That Instagram sleep expert built a large following because she had tips that helped many new parents – but my friend simply wasn’t a fit for her following. She didn’t need the advice, and following that person may have been taking up space in her life better occupied by following someone else.

Who are you following that it’s time to unfollow? Who have you been trying to convince to follow you, or to follow with you, that you need to release? What could you do with the energy you’re spending on trying to follow (or lead) where it’s not working? 

I’d love to read your comments.